So many questions, so much confusion. What is happening??? Some weeks just seem crazier than others, like last week.
Saturday night, Oct 20 we rec’d a call that a pastor and his wife not too far from where we live were shot in the head. She died; he survived but was critically wounded. The gunman was their son.
I cried myself to sleep that night; I cried for her, for him, for their two surviving daughters and even for the son. That Sunday I went to church with puffy eyes only to cry again with the pastor and his wife of my home church . Every so often throughout the week, I would have to just stop and pray for this family through tears and a painful heart. I didn’t even know the family personally, but do have a friend who is closely tied to the family. Besides, there is a solidarity among those of us in the ministry.
Then on Monday gang fighting broke out at my son’s high school with a shooting after school not far from the campus. I had no idea until Tuesday when he called me and said they are allowing all students to go home. The school was crawling with cops, both uniformed and plain clothed, and there had been a threat via text messaging that more ‘stuff was going down’ later that week. Kids should wear bullet proof vests for spirit day was the joke. Except it wasn’t funny.
Wednesday night I attended a parents meeting that was supposed to quiet the troubled mood and help answer questions- prinicipally like this one , “will my child be safe in your school?”. No; no such guarantee can be made.
Saturday morning I attended the funeral for the murdered mom. I listened to the fond memories, the funny stories, and the, “we miss you mom” from two beautiful young ladies who struggled to speak through quivering voices. Then they buried that saint while her husband remained in critical condition sixty miles away. He never had a chance to say good-bye.
For my confusion, God reminds me He is my soundness. For my questions, God reminds me that sin is still active, but more so His grace and power to overcome.
Thank you, Jesus, for the serenity found in trusting you through any and every storm, whether big or small.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me. Thou dost prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; Thou has anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23: 4-6