Welcome to Wednesday, What My Friends Write, where I post creations by *surprise!* …my friends.
Because I have friends. And because they are either funny, deep, thoughtful, or moving writers. And because I think you’ll like it.
To kick it off, here is a humorous post from Catherine, a friend who lives across the Oaxaca Valley and whose wit keeps us laughing:
Friends, I have the formula for how to be miserable this year. I tried this one year and it worked wonders!
Tip number one: Be sure and start the year with resolutions. Make sure they have nothing to do with the flow and direction you are already in.
Make sure they are based on what OTHERS do, and most of all, make sure they are founded in habits you have not mastered. You will be sure to fail!
Tip two: Make sure you compare yourself to other people. This one is crucial. I’m not talking about when people you admire inspire creativity. I’m talking about the soul-crushing condemnation that happens when you linger and wallow in jealousy!
Make sure to ask yourself why they should deserve to do so well, when you have imitated excellence all this time!
Tip three: Be ungrateful. Don’t give thanks for anything, or you might forget to be miserable. Hoard your talents, energy, and love in fear that there will not be enough, and keep them away from those lazy undeservings!
That is the very definition of misery. I hope these tips help those of you who have resolved to be miserable this year. I’ve tried all these easy tips- and they work!
See my next blog on “How to lose Friends and become a Marginalized Citizen.” It’s pretty much the same, only more depressing!
Catherine’s thoughts and humor can be found at http://www.cornerinthecastle.blogspot.com if you’re too far away to spend time laughing with her in person.